Introduction

In a world that often tries to categorize people into ‘he’, ‘she’, and ‘they’, the concept of non-binary comes as a powerful expression of selfhood that goes beyond gender stereotypes.

It’s a self-reflexive journey of self-exploration that breaks the binary narrative and invites us to explore the many layers of identity that lie beyond 'he’ and 'she’. 

So, what does ‘being non-binary’ really mean? This question opens the door to a wide range of experiences, freeing us from the constraints of societal expectations and opening up a more inclusive view of human existence.

In this blog, we’re going on a journey of self-exploration, self-acceptance, and self-love while exploring the complexities of being a non-binary person.

What Does Being Non-Binary Mean?

The term "non-binary" refers to an individual who does not only identify as male or female but is also unsure of their gender identity. 

Those identifying as non-binary might feel their gender is a mix of both, neither fluid nor completely outside the traditional binary understanding. 

This is a diverse and personal experience that allows individuals to express their gender in a way that feels authentic to them.

This identity promotes a wider awareness of and acceptance of gender diversity by challenging the idea that there are only two genders: men and women.

Pronouns for Non-Binary People

There are numerous pronouns that non-binary individuals may use, and the most effective approach to determining someone's preferred pronouns is to ask them directly. 

Here are some common pronouns used by non-binary people:

They/them/their: This is the most common set of non-binary pronouns. They can be used in the singular to refer to one person, just like he/him/his or she/her/hers.

Ze/zir/zirs: This is a newer set of pronouns that is gaining popularity. Ze is pronounced like "zee" and zir is pronounced like "zher."

He/him/his and she/her/hers: Some non-binary individuals use pronouns traditionally associated with one binary gender or the other. For instance, a non-binary person who is a man might use he/him pronouns, while a non-binary person who is a woman might use she/her pronouns.

Let's Understand Binary Gender Identity

Doctors typically assign sex to newborns based on the anatomy of the external reproductive organs. This is often seen as fitting into two categories: male or female, known as the sex binary.

When someone's gender identity matches the gender matches the gender assigned at birth, it's called cisgender.

So, if a person is labeled male at birth and identifies as a man, they're called a cisgender man. Similarly, if someone is labeled female at birth and identifies as a woman, they're called a cisgender woman. 

This understanding of gender as fitting into just two categories is what people mean when they talk about the gender binary.

Gender Identity and Gender Expression

Gender identity refers to an individual’s internal sense of their gender whereas gender expression is how a person externally presents their gender. 

While the terms might seem similar, they can mean different things. It is important to note that a person’s gender identity and gender expression may not always align.

Gender is also different from biological sex. A person’s sex refers to chromosomes, hormones, and anatomy. Gender, on the other hand, is a social and cultural construct. 

People whose gender identity and gender expression match their biological sex are considered cisgender. 

People who identify as a different gender than the one assigned at birth are called transgender or non-binary.

Understanding the Terminology Related to Non-Binary

Genderqueer: A person who does not adhere to conventional gender norms.

Agender: A person who does not identify with any gender.

Genderfluid: A person whose gender identity is not fixed and may change over time.

Demigender: A person who feels a partial connection to a particular gender.

Intergender: A person who identifies as both male and female or as a combination of both genders.

Pangender: A person who identifies as many genders. 

Androgynous: A person whose gender expression is a mix of masculine and feminine traits or who identifies as having a gender that is neither exclusively male nor female.

Gender nonconforming: A person who does not conform to societal expectations or norms around gender expression or identity

Transgender/trans: A person whose gender identity differs from the gender they were assigned at birth. 

Non-Binary and Sexual Orientation

Though gender identity and sexual orientation are often assumed to be related, they are distinct from one another.

Gender identity is how you feel or experience your gender, which may or may not reflect the sex you were assigned at birth.

Sexual orientation, on the other hand, refers to your emotional and physical attraction to others.

Gender identity does not determine sexual orientation.

Non-binary people have diverse sexual orientations and may identify as gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, or any other sexual orientation.

Differences between Non-Binary, Transgender, and Intersex

All these gender identities fall under the umbrella of transgender experiences, but they represent different ways of relating to gender.

Here's a difference:

Non-binary describes a gender identity that doesn't neatly fit into "male" or "female," with some individuals seeing themselves as a blend of both or as something entirely different. 

Transgender individuals have a gender identity that doesn't match the sex assigned at birth, which could be male, female, or another gender entirely. It's important to note that non-binary isn't synonymous with transgender; someone can identify as both. 

Intersex means a biological sex that does not match the traditional gender binary. Intersex people may have reproductive and sexual anatomy that does not match the traditional gender norms. 

Intersex is a biological condition, while non-binary and transgender are more closely tied to gender identity.

Common Situations Non-Binary People May Face

Non-binary individuals might encounter various situations that challenge societal norms and expectations regarding gender. 

These can include:

• Encountering confusion or misunderstanding about their pronouns.
• Facing discrimination or exclusion in gendered spaces like bathrooms or changing rooms.
• Experiencing a lack of representation or acceptance in media and legal documents that often only recognise binary genders.
• Navigating the complex process of coming out to friends, family, and colleagues in a world that often operates within a binary gender framework.

These situations can create emotional stress, a sense of invisibility, and the need to constantly educate others about non-binary identities.

Accepting LGBTQAI+ Individuals: A Counselor's Perspective

Accepting LGBTQAI+ individuals and their choices can sometimes be challenging, especially for parents or friends who may have deeply ingrained beliefs or societal pressures influencing their perspectives.

However, it's important to recognize that everyone deserves love, respect, and acceptance regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

The first step towards accepting them and their choice requires an open mind and a willingness to learn.

Educate yourself about LGBTQAI+ identities and experiences by reading books, attending workshops, or seeking information from reputable sources.

This will help you gain a deeper understanding of the challenges and discrimination that LGBTQAI+ individuals may face.

Try to empathize with your loved one's perspective and recognize that their identity and choices are valid and deserving of support.

Being LGBTQAI+ is not a choice, but an inherent part of who they are, and they deserve to be embraced for their authenticity.

Seek support from LGBTQAI+ organizations, support groups, or mental health professionals who can provide guidance and resources to help you navigate this journey. 

Remember that you're not alone, and there are people and resources available to support you and your loved one through this process.

FAQs

What is an example of binary gender?

The gender binary is the inaccurate concept that gender is categorized into only two distinct forms (i.e. man and woman). Many gender-expansive identities exist either between or outside of this binary, such as genderfluid, genderqueer, non-binary, or agender.

Who is a demiboy?

A demiboy, also known as demiguy, is a person whose gender identity is partially male, regardless of their assigned gender at birth. They may or may not identify with another gender in addition to feeling partially male. They may also define their identity as both male and genderless (agender).

What does bigender mean?

Bigender refers to a person who has two gender identities or a combination of two gender identities, such as identifying as both male and female or identifying as agender and female. It's important not to confuse it with bisexuality, which involves experiencing romantic, emotional, or sexual attraction to two genders.

Are you gender fluid?

Gender fluidity involves expressing your gender in a certain way one day and dressing differently another day. If your gender expression changes day-to-day based on how you feel, this is a strong indication of being genderfluid.

What does boyflux mean?

Boyflux, manflux, or guyflux, is a form of genderflux where individuals experience varying degrees of manhood. For instance, a boyflux individual may feel like a boy 50% of the time, an agender 25% of the time, or a blend of the two in between or around those percentages.

Conclusion

Understanding what it is to be a non-binary person is an important part of creating a culture of acceptance.

Non-binary people exist outside of the binary of male or female and embrace a spectrum of gender expression that may not be in line with societal standards.

Recognizing and accepting non-binary identities means being open-minded, empathetic, and committed to breaking down the barriers of gender stereotypes. As society advances, it is important to create spaces that recognize and celebrate the rich diversity of gender identities.

Educating ourselves and building a culture of acceptance will help create a world where everyone (regardless of their gender identity) can live honestly and be accepted for who they are.

References

• Health (2023). What Does Nonbinary Mean? Available at https://www.health.com/nonbinary-identities-7152434 (Accessed 31/12/2023).
  
• National Library of Medicine (2019) Non-binary and genderqueer: An overview of the field. Bornstein K. (1994). Gender Outlaw: On men, women and the rest of us. New York, NY: Routledge. [Google ScholarAvailableale at https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6830997/ (Accessed 31/12/2023).
• Medical News Today (2021). What does nonbinary mean? Available at https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321529 (Accessed 31/12/2023).
• Very well health (2023). What Is Non-Binary? Available at https://www.verywellhealth.com/non-binary-7481171 (Accessed at 31/12/2024).
• Healthline (2023). Understanding What It Means to Be Nonbinary. Available at https://www.healthline.com/health/transgender/nonbinary (Accessed 31/12/2023).