7 Ways To Be More Vulnerable In A Relationship

At a Glance: Being vulnerable with the people you care about is one of the greatest ways of building long-term relationships. But achieving that level of vulnerability as well as accepting and working to deal with the potential barriers can be challenging.

Reviewed by Internal Psychologist and General Physician

Table of Contents

  • Introduction
  • What Does it Mean to be Vulnerable?
  • 7 Ways to be More Vulnerable with Your Partner
  • Frequently Asked Questions
  • Conclusion

Introduction

We frequently hear a saying: "Being vulnerable with one another is necessary for relationships". Along with other overused phrases like "communication is key" and "relationships take hard work," it is uttered so frequently that it has nearly lost its impact in the realm of dating advice.

Vulnerability in relationships is a complicated idea, even though it has become somewhat of a buzzword. In this article, let us delve into what vulnerability is and ways to be more vulnerable with your partner.

What Does it Mean to be Vulnerable?

Being vulnerable in a relationship means being open and honest with another person about who you are and how you feel without being arrogant or using other appearances to protect yourself from being hurt or rejected.

It involves choosing not to hide who we are. This is risky since we have no control over how others may react. It implies that people can now see us for who we are, and it hurts if they can't accept us.

People start to struggle with vulnerability because they are afraid of being hurt usually by the rejection, criticism, or betrayal of other people. We can start to put on a brave face, look unconcerned, repress our feelings, or adopt a role designed to shield ourselves from these risks.

Undoubtedly, there are risks associated with vulnerability. However, the most important aspect of vulnerability and the reason it takes such bravery to embrace it is that you can only reap the results by taking these risks.

The sense of intimacy and fulfillment that vulnerability can bring is only possible if you give yourself over to the possibility of being hurt. You can only feel a greater degree of mutuality in your relationship, a sense of knowing each other more honestly and being able to trust each other more profoundly by giving up some level of control for yourself.

In a nutshell, while vulnerability can be scary, it's typically worthwhile.

Importance of Vulnerability

7 Ways to be More Vulnerable with Your Partner

1. Explore your inner world

It all begins with a deep exploration of your inner world to show your actual self to others. You must understand the person behind the behaviours that frequently mask your true feelings. Consider your natural reactions in both positive and awful situations. Pause for a moment and ask yourself, "What deeper emotions could I realise if I let go of this knee-jerk reaction?"

It's critical to permit yourself to recognize your emotional reactions in various situations. Pay special attention to your body's emotions and, most importantly, learn to convey your actual feelings.

2. Tell people what you feel about the situation

Start sharing your feelings with others as soon as you become more aware of your feelings. Try expressing your true feelings to others, even if they seem dumb.

Do you miss one of your former friends? Let them know by texting them. Did your partner offend you this morning with a seemingly insignificant comment? Tell them how you truly feel. Do you love spending time with your sister? Inform her.

3. Ask for feedback from others

It is incredibly vulnerable to ask someone for their honest opinion of you, your actions, or your work; nevertheless, doing so can increase closeness and accountability in your relationships.

Be responsible when seeking input. Giving people an opportunity to express themselves and communicate any obstacles or points of friction by being vulnerable and open to feedback may strengthen your connections.

4. Make an effort to heal your attachment issues

The concern of being abandoned or hurt by people sometimes results from prior situations in which the same thing occurred. It can be beneficial to discuss these traumas with a mental health expert because these are frequently referred to as attachment issues.

The objective is to create a secure attachment style. A person who is securely bonded is typically a lot more at ease with vulnerability. A securely connected person has a strong sense of self and is not guided by fear of rejection or a fear of losing themselves. They are aware that it is okay to depend on others and cherish being needed in return. Intimacy and vulnerability are not difficult for them.

5. Take the risk

Admitting the possibility of feeling hurt is a necessary component of vulnerability. That implies that we can't always hold off until we feel completely secure or are convinced that no one will reject us.

If we are open and try to be vulnerable with others and it doesn't result in closeness and connection or it isn't well received, that's okay. There's always a degree of risk involved when you're genuine and honest," Being open and vulnerable does not mean that all of your relationships will work out.

Learn to tolerate the possible emotions that may accompany these moments and build up acceptance for them.

6. Be honest about what you want

Although it may be a part of being vulnerable, it's not just about opening up and telling them everything that has happened to traumatise you in the past. You can start with something as simple as being upfront about what you are looking for in a potential partner or by being very honest with the person you are going on a date with.

Aim to respond to every query with a straightforward response, such as, "If your date wants to get coffee but you don't like coffee, don't agree to have coffee." Say that you would want to stroll in the park if you wanted to. Honesty is the first of several components that make up vulnerability.

7. Keep in mind why you are doing this

Last but not least, it's important to keep in mind that being vulnerable isn't about gaining the favour of others or earning anything from them.

We must keep in mind that we are not acting vulnerable to influence how others will treat us. It isn't a manipulation device. We act on our behalf.

Know that you have already benefited since you showed up as your whole self, regardless of how the scenario develops after you have opened yourself up.

There is only one of you, and you were born to experience who you are as fully and frequently as you can, without masks, defences, disguises, and shields.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Why do I have trouble being open and vulnerable?

People may struggle with how to be vulnerable for a variety of reasons, but one of the most common is past experiences with unfavourable reactions to vulnerability, such as experiencing criticism from your parents when you tried to share a struggle as a child, placing your trust in a romantic partner who later cheated on you, or experiencing shame at school for trying to express yourself.

Being honest about feelings is also frowned upon in some cultures; for instance, men are frequently instructed to suppress their feelings to "be a man."

2. What if I'm uncomfortable with opening myself to vulnerability?

It's normal to experience anxiety when embracing your genuine emotions. If you're having trouble opening up to yourself, start small and consider getting help from a therapist or counsellor.

3. Can being more open with myself strengthen my bonds with others?

Absolutely! More deep and genuine interactions with others, including your partner, can result from knowing your actual self and being honest about your emotions.

In a relationship, can vulnerability lead to rejection or hurt?

Yes, vulnerability increases the risk of rejection or hurt, but it also increases the chances of genuine connection and understanding. It is a matter of striking a balance between openness and self-protection.

How can I become more at ease with my vulnerability?

Begin by acknowledging and accepting your emotions. Communicate frankly with your companion, and gradually reveal more of your inner self. Trusting your partner can also make vulnerability feel safer.

Conclusion

Being ready to meet people and letting them get to know us better is a risk, but it pays off in our relationships. Even if it doesn't come naturally to you, you may learn how to be vulnerable by putting little emotional courage exercises into practice whenever and whenever you can.

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