7 Signs You Are in a Situationship

At a Glance: In today's world, being in a romantic relationship doesn't necessarily imply being deeply in love, nor does it require a label. Some people may find themselves in a "situationship," which is different from being friends with benefits or being in a committed relationship. If you are unsure about the state of your relationship with your partner, it's important to be aware of the signs of a situationship.

Reviewed by Internal Psychologist and General Physician

Introduction

Nowadays, casual relationships have become a common thing. As a result, we have come up with new terms to describe undefined relationships.

First, there was the phrase "booty call," then "friends with benefits," and now "situationship." But what does this new term mean exactly?

A situationship is a romantic relationship before or without the "defining the relationship" conversation.

It can be temporary if you've gone on a few dates with someone, but it's still too early to discuss relationship status.

Or, it can define the relationship if you're in a city on a short-term assignment and start seeing someone casually.

Still confused? Don't worry.

In this blog, we have explained what it means to be in a situationship, common signs you are in a situationship, and how to navigate this ambiguous relationship status.

What is a Situationship?

A situationship is a term used to describe a stage in a relationship where the partners are not officially in a romantic relationship, but still have feelings for each other.

This kind of relationship involves an emotional connection without any official labels.

It is a relationship between two people who are not seriously in love with each other or simply dating.

It may sound similar to a friends-with-benefits kind of relationship, but the two are not the same thing.

A friends-with-benefits relationship is more about friends having casual sex, whereas a situationship is an ambiguous and not-so-clearly defined status of being in between single and taken.

Situationship vs. Dating

Dating and situationships can often seem identical because the parties involved don't label their relationship.

However, the main difference is that with dating, there is usually an implicit expectation that you are exploring some romantic potential, and you are open to having a conversation about what it means when feelings deepen.

In situationships, you may act like you are dating, but there are no established conversations about what is going on.

Situationships vs. Friends with Benefits

Friends with benefits is similar to a situationship. The main difference is that in a friends-with-benefits scenario, there are usually clear boundaries to avoid developing feelings for each other, while in a situationship, boundaries are rarely established.

7 Common Signs of a Situationship

The 7 common signs you're in a situationship are:

1. The Relationship is Undefined

It's possible that you and your partner haven't had an important conversation about defining your relationship, setting expectations, and outlining boundaries.

It may be too early to have that conversation, or you may not feel comfortable bringing it up.

2. A Lack of Consistency

In a situationship, a lack of consistency is a major sign. It can be difficult to predict your partner's behaviour.

You may be uncertain about when you'll see them next, how long it will take for them to respond to a text, or whether they will make an effort to reach out.

3. No Plans for the Future

When people are in a committed relationship, they usually make plans for the future together, such as attending an event or building a family.

However, in a situationship, there is usually no talk of the future, and no plans are made.

4. The Connection is Superficial

Even if you spend time with your partner and share physical intimacy, it is possible that you have not established a strong emotional bond.

Your conversations may remain superficial, and you may observe that your partner does not show interest in getting to know you on a personal level.

5. The Relationship is Based on Convenience

You and your partner may not prioritize each other or make special plans to spend time together.

Instead, you may tend to make plans on the fly based on convenience, such as if you have a gap in your schedule or if other plans fall through.

6. Social Projection of Relationship

When in a situationship, friends and relatives may not recognize you as a pair, as you may keep your relationship hidden and avoid displays of affection in public.

7. Prospect of Situationship

When you and your partner are together, you may behave like a couple in a serious relationship, but when you're apart, your communication might become more casual and less frequent.

Your partner may not put in much effort to initiate conversations or make plans with you.

Signs of Situationship

Pros and Cons of a situationship

Pros:

Being in a situationship isn’t necessarily bad; it all comes down to personal preference and what a healthy relationship means for you in your current stage of life.

Pros of this arrangement include:

Embrace companionship without commitment: A lot of freedom and flexibility. You can enjoy companionship and intimacy without any expectations or commitments of a full-fledged relationship.

Explore connection without pressure: It's a great way to explore your feelings for someone without any pressure. You can see if there's potential for something more or simply enjoy each other's company.

Enjoy a relaxed connection: The best part is that there's less drama and pressure involved. You don't have to deal with any relationship drama or pressure to meet each other's families. It can be a relaxed and carefree way to connect.

Cons:

Cons of being in a situationship are:

Emotional Confusion: The “what-if,” “what-are-we,” and “how-do-they-really-feel” confusion can leave an individual emotionally disturbed. Jealousy and insecurity are common as there is no clear commitment from either party.

Fluid Feelings: Situationships can prevent you from pursuing the relationship you truly want. This fluidity means that emotions can change rapidly, adding to the instability.

Emotional Investment: There’s often some level of emotional investment, but with uncertainty about where you stand. This can lead to feelings of vulnerability and insecurity, as you may not know how much to invest emotionally, as love can develop unexpectedly.

Circumstantial Nature: The connection in a situationship may feel circumstantial, convenient, and uncommitted. These relationships are often non-monogamous, further complicating the emotional landscape and expectations.

Uncertain Future: Situationships do not offer any guarantee of a long-term commitment. This uncertainty means that future plans, such as vacations, holidays, or meeting the parents, may not materialize.

What should you do if you are in a situationship?

Here are some things you should consider while you are in situationship:

Know what you want: Take some time to reflect on your needs and desires. Ask yourself whether you're looking for a casual or committed relationship. Consider what makes you feel valued and respected in a relationship.

Communicate openly: Be open and honest with your partner about what you expect from the relationship and what you're comfortable with. Make sure to set clear boundaries and express your feelings. If you desire more commitment, ask your partner if they're on the same page.

Decide if it is working: If the relationship isn't meeting your needs, don't be afraid to end things. Remember, your happiness and well-being should always come first.

How to end a situationship?

Situationships work for some, but not all.

Here are some steps to consider if you're looking to end a situationship:

Be honest with yourself: Take some time to reflect on your feelings and why you want to end the relationship. Are your emotional needs not being met? Are you looking for more commitment? Understanding your motivations will help you communicate better with your partner.

Have "the talk": An honest conversation is key. Choose a calm and private setting, and express your decision clearly. Focus on your needs and avoid blaming your partner for anything.

Set boundaries: After ending things, establish clear boundaries. This could mean limiting contact or taking a break from seeing each other altogether. Be clear about what you're comfortable with and what you're not.

Focus on self-care: Breakups, even casual ones, can be tough. Focus on taking care of yourself during this time. Spend time with loved ones, do things you enjoy, and be gentle with yourself. Remember that it's okay to take some time to heal and move on.

What happens after a situationship?

Either the situationship ends as they move on towards another relationship, or they are stuck in this stage.

Both suffer in a romantic relationship socially and psychologically. To move on from it, one can:

  • Avoid false hopes
  • Focus on closure
  • Create a space for healing

Conclusion

In today's world, love has become a complicated and unclear concept, and situationships are a prime example of the ambiguity that surrounds it. 

However, despite this uncertainty, situationships can teach us important lessons about communication, setting boundaries, and valuing our self-worth. 

Whether you are currently navigating a situationship or seeking clarity in your relationships, remember this: what truly matters is not where you stand, but how confidently you define your own path toward happiness and fulfillment. 

Embrace the journey, learn from your experiences, and, most importantly, never settle for anything less than the love and respect that you truly deserve.

If you're feeling uncertain or stressed about your relationship, consult with mental health professionals or a counselor for support and guidance.

FAQs

Can situationships be good?

Situationships can be beneficial if both parties are aligned and seeking a non-committal relationship. These relationships can provide opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery and foster a sense of independence and self-reliance as individuals manage their own emotional needs without depending entirely on a partner.

Is a situationship like dating?

While dating involves a structured approach to building a committed relationship, situationships are more casual and lack clear direction or commitment.

Is a situationship unhealthy?

Situationships aren't necessarily unhealthy but things can turn unhealthy when one or both partners have different expectations from the relationship. This can happen when one person desires a more serious and long-term relationship while the other has no such intention.

What are the red flags in situationship?

The red flags in situationship include wanting to spend all their free time with you, demanding frequent messages and phone calls, and pushing to define the relationship early on without getting to know you well enough.

How long should a situationship last?

A situationship is a kind of relationship that can last for a few days to a few years, depending on how the individuals involved in it want to take it forward. It's quite common for people to explore their connection before committing, but it's not a good sign to stay in a situationship for too long.

References

  • Very well mind (2023). Situationship: How to Cope When Commitment is Unclear. Available at https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-situationship-5216144 (Accessed 13/03/2024).
  • Women's health (2023). 11 Signs You’re in a ‘Situationship’ and How to Handle it Like a Pro, Per Relationship Experts. Available at https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a27478820/situationship/ (Accessed 13/03/2024).
  • Health shots (2023). 7 signs you are in a situationship, not relationship. Available at https://www.healthshots.com/mind/emotional-health/signs-of-disrespect-in-a-relationship/ (Accessed 13/03/2024).
  • Dictionary.com (2023). Situationship. Available at https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/situationship/ (Accessed 13/03/2024).
  • mbgrelationships (2023) 18 Signs You're in a "Situationship" + What that Really Means. Available at https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/situationship#:~:text=How%20long%20is%20a%20situationship,the%20situationship%20and%20move%20on. (Accessed 13/03/2024).
  • Cleveland Clinic (2023). Situationships: What They Are and 5 Signs You’re in One. Available at https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-a-situationship. (Accessed 13/03/2024).

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