Introduction

Physical attraction typically plays a significant role in most romantic relationships.

However, some individuals are primarily drawn to a person's intelligence. This is where sapiosexuality comes in, which places a premium on intellect in the realm of attraction.

Have you ever felt a strong connection with someone not because of their physique or good looks, but because of their insightful thoughts and clever wit?

If so, you may be interested in learning more about this unique orientation.

This blog will explore this concept in depth, revealing what really excites those who find intelligence alluring.

It goes beyond surface-level attraction, diving into the captivating realm where mental agility holds the key to unlocking the heart!

What is the Meaning of Sapiosexual?

The term ‘sapiosexual’ is derived from the Latin words ‘sapiens,’ meaning wise, and ‘sexualis,’ meaning sexual.

A sapiosexual is someone who finds intelligence to be the most sexually attractive quality in others.

While many people appreciate intelligence in a partner, for sapiosexuals, it becomes a key factor that surpasses physical appearance or other traits.

They are primarily attracted to the intellectual capacity and depth of a person's thinking.

This attraction might stem from various aspects, such as wit, knowledge, curiosity, the ability to engage in stimulating conversations, or a passion for learning.

People who identify as sapiosexual do not feel attraction until a potential partner stimulates their minds.

This means that they do not feel lust, liking, wanting, or sexual gratification unless their brain has been stimulated on an intellectual level first.

In other words, for them, the intellectual connection is a prerequisite for any sexual or romantic relationship.

When it comes to sapiosexuality, there are no gender limitations. You can be attracted to anyone, regardless of their gender identity or orientation.

Sapiosexual Vs. Demisexual

Sapiosexuality and demisexuality are two terms that are often confused with each other.

While both describe a lack of importance placed on another person's physical appearance, there are some key differences.

Demisexuality refers to individuals who only experience sexual attraction to another person after forming a significant emotional bond.

On the other hand, sapiosexuals can feel attraction towards someone's impressive intellect without necessarily having an emotional connection.

Sapiosexual Vs. Greysexual

Greysexual individuals may experience sexual intimacy with others, but they lack the desire for sexual activity.

Greysexuals, similar to demisexuals, do not experience romantic attraction until they have developed an emotional connection with their partner.

Greysexuals differ from sapiosexuals in that their intellectual prowess does not invariably capture their attention. Furthermore, they do not generally experience sexual arousal.

Signs of Sapiosexuality

Here are some of the signs of sapiosexuality:

• They experience a stronger attraction to someone after having a conversation with them that stimulates the mind. 
• They prefer having conversations on current events, philosophy, or other intellectual topics that are more intriguing and thought-provoking than mundane topics like the weather or what someone did over the weekend.
• They find people who are quick-witted, well-read, and knowledgeable to be extremely attractive.
• They like to learn new things and expand their knowledge. They are curious about the world and always seek new opportunities to learn more.
• They are attracted to individuals who are passionate about their interests and find it exhilarating to be around people who are passionate about their hobbies, careers, or other pursuits.
• They consider emotional intelligence to be as important as intellectual intelligence. They are attracted to people who are self-aware, empathetic, and capable of understanding and expressing their emotions.
• They are not afraid of a challenge and enjoy debating and discussing different viewpoints, even if it means disagreeing with someone.
• They value intellectual connection before physical intimacy. They are not just interested in having sex with someone but also want to establish a deep emotional and intellectual bond with them beforehand.

5 Ways to Turn on a Sapiosexual

If you're looking to attract someone who identifies as sapiosexual, here are five ways to appeal to their intellect:

Engage in thoughtful conversations

Stimulate the minds of others by having meaningful and thought-provoking conversations.

You can discuss a wide range of topics, share your insights, and actively listen to their ideas. Demonstrating intelligence and curiosity can be very attractive to a sapiosexual.

Showcase your knowledge

Share your interests and expertise in various subjects, such as science, literature, technology, or art.

Demonstrating a depth of knowledge in specific areas can be appealing, but balancing this with humility and an openness to learning from others is essential.

Embrace intellectual hobbies

Engage in activities that showcase your intellectual side, such as reading books, attending lectures or workshops, participating in philosophical discussions, or pursuing hobbies that require critical thinking and problem-solving skills.

Display wit and humour

A sharp sense of humour and quick wit can be highly attractive to a sapiosexual. Clever wordplay, insightful jokes, and the ability to appreciate intelligent humour can create a connection.

However, it's essential to be mindful to avoid offensive or overly complex humour that might alienate others.

Challenge and inspire

Challenge the thinking of others by presenting new ideas or perspectives. Be open to challenging yourself, as healthy intellectual debate can be stimulating.

Additionally, inspire them by setting personal goals, pursuing lifelong learning, and demonstrating a commitment to personal growth.

Effect of Sapiosexuality on Relationship

Sapiosexuality can have different effects on relationships, both positive and negative. Here is a breakdown of these effects:

Potential Positives:

Strong intellectual connection: Engaging in stimulating conversations, debates, and learning experiences can strengthen partnerships and foster mutual respect.

Personal development: Partners can motivate one another to learn new things, widen their horizons, and participate in demanding activities.

Appreciation for many forms of intelligence: Everyone expresses intellect differently, and being open to varied types of knowledge and learning styles can help the relationship.

Potential Challenges:

Different tempo of attraction: Because intellectual connection takes time to form, developing emotional and physical intimacy may take longer.

Pressure to "perform": Partners may feel pressured to display intelligence or satisfy expectations, which can lead to anxiety or insincerity.

Misunderstandings or judgment: Other people may not grasp sapiosexuality, resulting in insensitive remarks or criticism.

Ignoring other parts: If you focus too much on intellectual connection, you may miss out on vital aspects of a healthy relationship, such as emotional and physical connection.

Controversy About Sapiosexuality

Like beauty, intelligence is a personal thing that relies a lot on what people in your culture value.

People have different ideas about where sapiosexuality fits in the sexuality range because of this.

Many people think it can't be named or explained in the same way as other sexualities because it's more like a type of attraction than a real sexuality.

Some people say that sapiosexuality is ableist or pretentious.

Best Places to Meet Sapiosexual People

The term sapiosexual is relatively new, while the sexuality itself is old.

Sapiosexuality, on the other hand, has yet to gain acceptance in mainstream culture due to its criticisms and novelty. This can make it difficult to comprehend and affirm others.

Regardless, there are numerous places where you can search for compatible companions with whom you can form meaningful relationships.

Common ways to meet other sapiosexual people include:

Visiting a library: It should come as no surprise that a lot of sapiosexuals could want to spend time in front of rows of books and peaceful study areas. If you're looking to meet a sapiosexual, you might want to check out your neighbourhood library.

Using dating websites and apps: A growing number of dating websites and apps are beginning to feature a variety of sexual orientations on their networks, making it easier for sapiosexuals to meet.

Attending conventions: One method to begin investigating your sapiosexuality may be to go to activities or events, such as comic cons or gaming conventions, that draw in others with similar interests.

Attending lectures: If you register for a local lecture, the other participants will probably value ideas similar to your own. As such, you might be lucky enough to run into other sapiosexuals in educational environments.

Attending a class: Engaging in a typically cerebral or mentally demanding activity, such as studying a foreign language or playing an instrument, may introduce you to other sapiosexuals.

Conclusion

The idea of sapiosexuality shows how intellect, attraction, and emotional connection work together in partnerships.

Some people may connect with the idea of being attracted to intelligence more than anything else, while others may see it as just one part of an attraction range with many other parts.

It's important to understand and value the variety of human desires if you want to make connections that go beyond the surface and embrace the depth of each person's mind and soul.

No matter if you identify as sapiosexual or not, the process of discovering and appreciating the complexity of the human mind is still an interesting and important part of being human.

FAQs

How do you know if someone is sapiosexual?

Being intellectually interested and putting intelligence first when looking for a love or sexual partner are both common signs of sapiosexuality. As with any other part of a person's sexuality, though, it comes down to whether or not that person directly identifies with the label.

Is there something wrong with identifying as sapiosexual?

There is still some controversy about whether the term sapiosexual refers to a real sexual identity or just describes a personal preference. Some have also criticized the phrase as elitist or ableist. Others claim that all identities are viable, including sapiosexuality.

What is a sapiophile woman?

A sapiophile woman is someone who finds possible partners who are smart and knowledgeable, especially attractive. This desire can be sexual, romantic, or both.

References

• MindBodyGreen (2022). What Does It Mean To Be Sapiosexual? 5 Telltale Signs. Available at https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/sapiosexual-identity-and-signs (Accessed 15/02/2024).
  
• BetterHelp (2023). What Is Sapiosexuality? Is It A Real Sexual Orientation? Available at https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/what-is-a-sapiosexual-what-does-it-mean/ (Accessed 15/02/2024).
• Choosing Therapy (2023). Sapiosexual: Definition, Signs, & Effects on Relationships. Available at https://www.choosingtherapy.com/sapiosexual/ (Accessed 15/02/2034).
• WebMD (2023). Sapiosexual: What It Means. Available at https://www.webmd.com/sex/sapiosexual-what-it-means (Accessed 15/02/2024).
• very well mind (2023). What Does It Mean to Be Sapiosexual? Available at https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-sapiosexual-5190425#toc-best-places-to-meet-sapiosexual-people (Accessed 15/02/2024).
• PsychCentral (2021). What It Means to Be Sapiosexual. Available at https://psychcentral.com/health/sapiosexual (Accessed 15/02/2024).