Table of Contents

• Introduction
• 5 Ways to Stay Romantic in a Relationship
• Can a Relationship Last with No Romance?
• What Are the 4 Stages of a Romantic Relationship?
• What to Do When Nothing Seems to Be Working?
• Conclusion
• FAQs

Introduction

It's your friends' wedding anniversary and you just wish that the romance between them will be everlasting.

But what is romance or romantic love in a relationship? 

You often must have heard people say things like, "My boyfriend is so romantic, he got me flowers", or things like, " We love each other very much but I just wish sometimes she takes initiative, and dresses up only for me, is just a little romantic".

Romance in a relationship can be understood as a set of behaviors and expressions a partner shows as a result of his or her feelings of love and affection for his/her lover. Thus, it keeps the excitement and passion alive in the relationship.

Romance is a crucial part of a love relationship between couples as many relationships fail or people fall out of relationships when romance ceases to exist between the partners involved.

5 Ways to Stay Romantic in a Relationship

When you feel like you and your partner are losing the spark that once existed between you, here are 5 ways you can bring back that excitement and interest:

Knowing your partner's love language

This is extremely important as knowing the love language of your partner will ultimately help you communicate better. Love languages are the different ways in which people express and experience love.

Paying attention

When you listen with attention, you show interest and care to your partner. It can be a real turn-off for people to have to repeat themselves again and again when expressing themselves.

Expressing yourself

Let your partner understand your thoughts and feelings through expressions such as 'I love you', 'I care for you', 'You did well', 'You are Handsome', 'You look good today', 'Thank you' etc. They are important to keep the romance alive.

Showing affection

Having a feeling of affection for your partner is only realised well when you show it in action. Be affectionate physically too. A good morning kiss, a warm hug after a long day, or a simple massage before sleep are some of the ways one can be affectionate physically to their partner.

Always making time for each other

No matter how busy one's schedule is, if you care about your relationship i.e. for anything worth protecting you definitely will do your best to make time for it.

Can a Relationship Last with No Romance?

Romance plays an important role in a relationship but it is not the only bedrock for maintaining a relationship.

A relationship can last without the romantic element.

Having said so, even though it isn't the only emotion that connects hearts and sustaining a relationship takes many other factors, romance does remain the basic reason why you are said to be in a relationship and excited about the relationship in the first place.

Couples in a relationship mostly do not realise this until it's gone. You wake up one day and ask yourself what went wrong between the two of you. 

The gradual decline of romance between couples happens because of many factors such as family responsibilities, raising a child together, having to attend jobs to run a family, etc.

To meet all these needs, couples hardly have time to focus on their relationship and as a result, they become more like roommates or project partners who are there to get a job done.

And with romance slowly fading away, the quality of the relationship gets compromised.

Also the definition of 'being romantic', can vary from person to person as the love language for one person may not be the same for others. 

Romance is not just about getting intimate and being physical all the time.

To a couple, having a meaningful conversation and being able to enjoy spending time together and engaging themselves in activities that both enjoy or are passionate about is way more romantic than gifting flowers.

This is why, even though a relationship can last without romance, to be in a fulfilling relationship, we need romance.

What are the Four Stages of a Romantic Relationship?

While some romantic relationships end even before they start, in general, there are four stages a romantic relationship goes through as it matures.

The Infatuation Stage:

This is the first stage of a romantic relationship when you have a strong desire, love, and passion for the person you are having a romantic relationship with. 

In this stage, you are so blinded by love and affection that you are readily willing to ignore their flaws.

Researchers have found that the brain produces a high level of dopamine, the so-called, "feel-good hormone" and norepinephrine during this stage, making the person more excited and joyous. 

This stage can last anywhere between 6 months to 2 years.

The Committed Stage:

In this stage, you are fully committed and attached to your partner. You have levelled up in your relationship.

You have known each other well now and are more realistic to one another than you were during the first stage. 

You trust each other more and understand the need for time alone besides together hours. This stage can last anywhere between 1 year to 5 years.

The Critical Stage:

This stage is the determining stage of a successful relationship i.e. either you fall out of love or you come back stronger.

You are now so comfortable with one another that you think out loud about the habits you do not like about your partner. 

You consider your needs and desires important and are unwilling to compromise on things you think matter to you.

Many relationships do crash at this stage but also many survive and pass through it to the last stage. This stage lasts anywhere between 5 years to 7 years.

The Matured Stage:

This is the final stage where a couple has built a strong relationship based on support, trust, and understanding. 

The feelings or needs of having to be always intimate and physical might not be present in this stage which is why people mistakenly feel that romance no longer exists in this stage. 

The ability to have a fulfilling and satisfying relationship by sharing their experiences, thoughts, and feelings is a higher form of romance.

What to Do When Nothing Seems to Be Working?

1. Re-evaluate your communication: When things aren't working, it often points to a breakdown in how you and your partner are communicating. 

• Psychological Suggestion: Use Nonviolent Communication (NVC) techniques which involve observing without judgement, expressing your feelings, identifying your needs, and making requests rather than demands. 

2. Focus on Positivity: Negativity can create a cycle of dissatisfaction and resentment. Shifting your focus to positive aspects of your relationship can help break this cycle.

• Psychological Suggestion: Create a golden rule not to bring past events into current arguments and not read in between the lines or overthinking.

3. Reconnect with Shared Goals: Having a shared vision and goals can reignite a sense of partnership and purpose in your relationship. Reflect on what brought you together and what you both want for the future.

• Psychological suggestion: Create a vision board together with images and words that represent your shared goals and dreams. 

4. Seek Professional Help: The Psychology of Counselling: Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you might need an outside perspective to help navigate your relationship troubles. 

• Psychological Suggestion: Couple therapy or individual therapy can help you identify patterns and dynamics that are contributing to your issues. 

Conclusion

There are ways to revive romance in a relationship and the first and foremost begins with acknowledging the state of relationship you are in now.

It starts with open communication with your partner to understand the needs and lack in the relationship to bring the romance back.

When nothing seems to work with communication breakdown, repeated conflicts, loss of intimacy, and trust issues resurfacing over and again as an obstacle, seeking therapy for relationship issues is a wise step. 

Seeking help early also helps repair the relationship faster.

Remember love and romance is a constant effort from both the partners involved.

FAQs

What type of relationship is romantic?

A relationship between lovers that ideally involves intimacy both emotionally and physically is a romantic relationship.

Is romantic love real love?

Yes. Love is real. Even when lovers fall out of love, the love they share during the time they were together is still love. Romantic love is the same. You love and care for the person so much that you are willing to put efforts to show that love and do things to make them happy even though it may last a lifetime or end sooner. It is real in that moment even when it may be short-lived.

Is romance good in a relationship?

Romance is important in a relationship. It strengthens the relationship between the partners as romance makes partners feel closer, appreciated, loved, and cared for. Romancing with your partner is necessary if you feel it is important to establish a healthy relationship.

What is true romance in a relationship?

True romance is understanding each other's love language and being able to give and receive love. When your relationship is truly romantic, both partners are happy and feel loved. You are also willing to work together constantly to keep that romance alive when you experience true romance.

How do you not lose romance in a relationship?

A relationship is a constant work and effort. Marrying the love of your life is not the ultimate goal. It is just the beginning. The partners must do what it takes to have a fulfilling and healthy relationship. Taking each other for granted is never an option.