Introduction

Sexual arousal is a natural part of the human experience, yet it remains concealed in secrecy and often misunderstood. 

As young women, experiencing the kind of bodily changes we went through, there were lots of questions and concerns in our minds.

Why do I feel this way? Why does my vagina feel wet? Is it normal to have sexual fantasies? Is it okay to explore? Who can I talk to?

When you are turned on, a complex interplay of physical and emotional responses ignites within your body.

Whether you are exploring your own arousal patterns or seeking to understand your partner’s cues, recognizing the signs of sexual arousal is essential for fostering intimacy and pleasure.

In this blog, we uncover the signs of female sexual arousal, the difference between sexual arousal and sexual desire, and the potential causes and remedies of sexual dysfunction. 

What are Sexual Desire and Sexual Arousal? Are they the same?

The key difference between the two is sexual stimulation. 

Sexual Desire:

Sexual desire or libido is the general sexual urge of wanting to have sex or be involved in sexual activity.

It is like the feeling of hunger for food we experience when hungry.

A person with a high level of sexual desire wants sex a lot more than a person with a lower level of sexual desire.

Your dreams and fantasies about sex and how often you do them indicate your sexual desire.

Sexual Arousal:

Sexual arousal happens as a response to a stimulus or stimuli.

It is that sexual response that follows during sex or sexual activity or when you are anticipating some sexual actions.

A kiss on the lips from a lover or a crush, maybe, is all that you need to bring you into the mood.

You get turned on after watching a steamy movie or a scene. To get turned on or get into the mood is what sexual arousal is about.

5 Signs of Sexual Arousal in Women

There are certain physical signs or certain bodily responses that take place when a woman is sexually aroused and they are completely normal. 

1. Changes in the Genital Area

During sexual arousal, significant physical changes occur in the genital area, including the development of the orgasmic platform, which leads to:

• Vaginal Lubrication: Increased blood flow results in natural lubrication, making the vagina wetter.
• Swelling of the Labia and Clitoris: The labia and clitoris engorge with blood, causing them to swell and become more sensitive.

2. Changes in Heart Rate and Breathing

Sexual arousal often brings about noticeable changes in a woman’s heart rate and breathing.

As arousal increases, so does the body’s need for oxygen, leading to:

• Increased Heart Rate: The heart pumps faster to circulate blood to the genitals and other erogenous zones.
• Rapid Breathing: Breaths may become quicker and deeper as excitement builds.

3. Flushing of the Skin

Another visible sign of sexual arousal is the flushing of the skin, particularly on the face, neck, and chest.

It is a classic sign of arousal, although its intensity may vary from person to person.

This phenomenon occurs due to:

• Increased Blood Flow: Enhanced circulation brings more blood to the skin’s surface, creating a warm, reddish hue.
• Release of Hormones: Arousal triggers hormones such as adrenaline, contributing to this flushed appearance.

4. Changes in the Nipples

Sexual arousal can cause noticeable changes in the nipples, including:

• Erection: Increased blood flow causes the nipples to become erect and more sensitive.
• Swelling: The breasts may become slightly larger and feel fuller due to increased circulation.

These changes enhance sensitivity and can heighten sexual pleasure when stimulated.

5. Behavioral and Emotional Cues

These can include:

• Increased Intimacy: A desire for closer physical contact and more affectionate behavior.
• Heightened Sensitivity to Touch: Aroused women may respond more intensely to physical touch and seek more direct stimulation.
• Verbal and Non-verbal Communication: Expressing desire through words, sounds, or body language, such as moaning, gasping, or guiding a partner’s hand.

What Triggers Female Sexual Arousal?

Both emotional/psychological and physical factors play important roles in triggering female sexual arousal.

When a kiss or simply holding hands with your lover can lead to arousal, the same acts can also lead to fear and complete withdrawal from sexual desire if you are forced to deal with someone you never want to be with.

In this, one must note that there is a relationship between the physical response and the emotional/psychological response of your body to the stimuli that may or may not trigger your arousal.

This is why unlike how it is portrayed in pornography, no women drool over a penis because it is 7 inches long.

The size of the penis may be one of the last things that comes to mind when women experience arousal.

Many factors can trigger female arousal and they are mostly subjective. However, it can be generalised in two ways according to the stages of arousal. 

First Stage:

Stage one is when sexual activity has not yet begun.

In this stage, the use of certain words or the smell of the perfume you wore on your first date or maybe a small gesture from your lover and even just the presence of your lover can be triggers for arousal.

Second Stage:

In stage two, you are already in action. Caressing your body, especially around the neck, and ears, and stimulating the vagina or vaginal areas can trigger more sexual arousal leading to orgasm.

It is the non-stop increasing sexual arousal triggered by direct intercourse or direct or indirect clitoral or vaginal stimulation that will result in orgasm. 

It is important to note that a segment of the female population never gets to experience orgasm during intercourse even with external stimulation given.

How Long Can Female Arousal Last?

In women, the time taken to arouse and to have orgasm is longer than in men. Understanding this difference can be important for partners to have a fulfilling sex life.

A number of factors determine how long female sexual arousal can last before reaching orgasm. 

For example, the overall health of the woman, the kind of sexual stimulation, the level of comfort associated with the partner or the place, etc play vital roles.

But the time taken to reach orgasm is not even the question as many women never even reach climax during intercourse. 

This in itself is not a disorder but has more to do with a lack of communication with the partner or just the inability to experience orgasm through intercourse.

Associated Physical and Psychological Factors for Arousal Disorders

Physical factors

They include:

Lack of lubrication: Arousal disorder can often be associated with a lack of vaginal lubrication. This condition can stem from a variety of factors including medications, hormonal changes, health conditions, etc. 

Estrogen Deficiency: It is a common issue, particularly in women undergoing menopause or other hormonal changes. When estrogen levels decline, it can lead to symptoms like vaginal dryness, irritation, and discomfort during sexual activity, which can, in turn, affect arousal and sexual satisfaction. 

Muscle Tension: Muscle tension arousal disorder is characterized by involuntary muscle contractions or tension that can cause discomfort or pain during sexual activity.

Skin sensitivity: Arousal disorder related to skin sensitivity can manifest as heightened sensitivity or discomfort during sexual activity, which may interfere with sexual arousal and enjoyment.

Chronic conditions: Conditions like diabetes, and certain autoimmune disorders can affect arousal.

Lifestyle choices: Smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and dehydration can also contribute to arousal disorder

Psychological factors

They include:

Stress and Anxiety: These psychological factors can interfere with the body's natural arousal mechanisms, leading to issues such as decreased libido, difficulty achieving or maintaining arousal, and even physical discomfort during sexual activity.

Self-esteem and body image: Negative self-image and low self-esteem can lead to feelings of inadequacy, shame, and embarrassment during sexual activity. It can further lead to decreased sexual desire, difficulty achieving arousal, and overall dissatisfaction with sexual experiences.

Lack of communication: Poor communication can lead to misunderstandings, unmet needs, and emotional distance between partners, which can hinder sexual intimacy. Without open communication, partners may feel neglected, unappreciated, or misunderstood, reducing their desire and ability to become aroused.

Relationship dynamics:  Frequent arguments, unresolved conflicts, or a lack of communication can diminish sexual arousal and intimacy. Emotional disconnection, lack of trust, or intimacy issues can also lead to reduced arousal. 

Sexual attitudes and beliefs: This refers to an individual's views, beliefs, and feelings about sex and sexuality. These attitudes can be influenced by cultural, religious, and personal factors.

If you're experiencing problems with sexual arousal or related issues, you can consult a gynaecologist or sexologist for guidance.

Conclusion

Because sexual arousal, in general, is a topic that is embarrassing to talk about in public or openly share with friends, many end up depending on the wrong channels to understand and learn about it. 

With female sexual life being all the more seclusive, finding and understanding female sexual arousal and desires becomes exceedingly challenging.

Satisfaction of sexual needs for healthy living requires understanding and learning about your body. 

When mental health issues such as depression or anxiety can lead to arousal dysfunctions in women, especially youngsters, lack of knowledge on female arousal has also led to many guilt feelings and fears.

In such cases, one must reach out and seek professional help for healthy living.

FAQs

I cannot experience orgasm during sex – what’s wrong with me?

Many women cannot reach climax from just penetrative sex alone. The majority of women require clitoral stimulation to reach climax and experience a normal orgasm or a combination of both/ blended orgasm. If you can experience orgasm through oral sex, you should communicate about it to your partner so that they will be able to make you orgasm.  

I’ve never had an orgasm – am I sexually dysfunctional?  

Finding difficulty in experiencing orgasm is pretty common. Also, good sex lies in communication. Communicate with your partner about what gives you pleasure. However, if it is associated with a decrease in sexual desire and difficulty in getting sexually aroused or staying aroused even with a high-level stimulus, visiting an expert might help.  

I often feel like I don’t get wet enough during sex – how can I fix this?

Using more lubricants can help. However, it is also a common occurrence when you are sexually aroused but do not get any physical response to it sometimes, and vice versa. Dryness can result from many factors such as less stimulation or arousal disorders. Visiting a doctor may be useful. 

Is it possible to get physically aroused but not mentally? 

Yes. Arousal non-concordance i.e. emotional/mental arousal not aligning with physical arousal is quite common. Morning wood in men or vaginas getting wet or lubricated on its own without emotionally feeling aroused is a common experience. 

References

• Castleman Michael (2021). How Long Does it Take Women to Climax During Intercourse? Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/202202/how-long-does-it-take-women-climax-during-intercourse. Accessed on 13/03/2024.
  
• ISSM. How long does it take a woman to reach orgasm? https://www.issm.info/sexual-health-qa/how-long-does-it-take-a-woman-to-reach-orgasm
• Cornforth Tracee (2022). Differences Between Sexual Arousal and Desire. 20th Oct, 2022. VeryWell Health. https://www.verywellhealh.com/female-sexual-dysfunction-3521033. Accessed on 12/03/2024.
• Soo May (2017). Sexual Desire and Sexual Arousal. Sexpositivepsychology. https://sexpositivepsychology.com.au/blog/2017/6/25/sexual-desire-and-sexual-arousal-same-or-different. Accessed on 13/03/2024.
• Healthline. Everything You Need to Know About Female Arousal. https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/female-arousal. Accessed on 13/03/2024.
• Women's health matters! Arousal and orgasm. What happens? https://www.womenshealthmatters.org.au/womens-healthwellbeing/sexual-and-reproductive-health/all-about-sex/arousal-and-orgasm/. Accessed on 13/03/2024.
• Conn Allison, Hodges R Kelly (2023). Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder. MSD MANUAL. Accessed on 13/03/2024.
• Ching-Hui Chen, Yen-Chin Lin, Li-Hsuan Chiu, Yuan-Hsiang Chu, Fang-Fu Ruan, Wei-Min Liu, Peng-Hui Wang, Female sexual dysfunction: Definition, classification, and debates, Taiwanese Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Volume 52, Issue 1, 2013, Pages 3-7, ISSN 1028-4559, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tjog.2013.01.002. (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S102845591300003X)